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Everything you need to know about tantric massage: yes, no, for whom, for what?

What exactly is tantric massage, synonymous with voluptuousness and sensuality? How does a session go? What benefits? Does it cause enjoyment? And is Kashmiri massage the same? We answer all these questions and many more.

Massage is of course one of the easiest ways to reconnect with your body and free your mind. Associated with tantrism , an age-old practice combining spirituality and sexuality , it allows you to go further in this inner exploration and in particular in the (re)discovery of your sexual energy , which is none other than vital energy.

Definition: what is a tantric massage?

It is an oil massage which is practiced rather naked and which can be full or not, depending on what you want. In fact, it is a very sensual massage which requires particular confidence with the masseur. It is often compared to Kashmiri massage which is an even more intimate version of tantric massage. In both cases, these are normally therapeutic massages. But be careful: first of all, there are great variations depending on the practitioner, and behind this unprotected name you will also find erotic massages, where the emphasis is placed on sex. It's up to you to see what you're looking for. Furthermore, you can also choose to try these massages as a couple.

3 ways to practice Tao or Kashmiri tantric massage

Tantric or Kashmiri massages can be practiced in different ways.

  • Individually with a professional : you should choose your masseur carefully in order to be in a relationship of trust. This is an absolutely essential thing in the context of a Tantric/Kashmiri massage.

  • In a relationship with a professional : this can be an opportunity to explore new sensations together and/or to learn the basics of the practice.

  • As a couple with a partner : this is undoubtedly the most spiritual way to deepen the bonds between lovers. Here again, this will require shared respect between the partners. The objective will be to stimulate your partner's entire body in different ways, using slow and subtle gestures. If there are no techniques or movements strictly speaking, the couple can however rely on books, like that of Michèle Larue “The art of tantric and Kashmiri massage”, or even seek advice from a practitioner during a two-person session.

The sessions can take place at home, in the office, or at a location of your choice, depending on your wishes and/or the possibilities of the masseur.

How does a tantric massage session work?

Whatever way you choose to practice massage (couple, solo with professional or not), certain steps seem necessary for a successful experience.

  • A discussion before the first meeting: in order to feel completely confident, it is important to clarify your expectations and clearly define the framework during a prior discussion.

  • Preparing the place: if you are doing the massage at home , create a zen and warm atmosphere: clear the space, tidy up, light a few candles or dim the lights, heat the room, provide oil, etc. As with a classic massage, you have to prepare the ground by adding a small dose of sensuality and eroticism.

  • A time of welcome and discussion : the first phase of the session consists of connecting with the masseur/massaged over a cup of Ayurvedic herbal tea or fruit juice for example, as Ayn, masseuse, explains tantric in Paris, on his site. “We spent a good 20 minutes talking, before anything else,” says Mina, a 35-year-old young woman who tried a tantric massage. During her session, she was naked. It depends on what you agree with your partner. As masseur Bruno Deck reminds us, this is also the time to commit to ensuring that there is no acting out, with the aim of fully enjoying the massage, without delay. thought.

  • An opening ritual: most tantric massage therapists seem to provide a time of connection to prepare for letting go . This can take the form of a short meditation, time to undress, etc.

  • A massage time: depending on what you have determined with your partner, all or part of your body will be massaged in depth. Find more details on the postures here. “He put oil all over me and massaged my whole body,” explains our thirty-year-old. I was very excited and a little frustrated at the end. He told me that he stayed on the surface a little during the first session to see how the feeling went. So we did it again a few weeks later and it actually remained less on the surface. »

  • A solo post-massage integration time: this time is always planned in order to integrate and become fully aware of all the benefits of the session. “It was an experience that I enjoyed overall. I felt in a state of extreme relaxation and awakening of the senses. But in fact this requires great trust in others. »

Why do a tantric massage? What benefits?

Tantra or Kashmiri massage allows you to:

  • awaken your senses and your knowledge of the body;

  • develop your energy (especially sexual);

  • create or consolidate the body/mind connection;

  • promote confidence in others and in oneself;

  • strengthen passion in a couple by transcending the carnal aspect;

  • prevent negative emotions.

The list is endless and obviously depends on the people and the sessions, but the goal is to find a perfect balance between mind and body , as well as to circulate energies .

Does this massage cause orgasm?

That's not the goal. Tantra or Kashmiri massage is above all a sensual exchange mixed with spirituality which invites an experience of traveling inwards. Therapist Didier Debuisseret explains: “Unlike erotic massage, tantric massage does not aim to provide pleasure. (…) Enjoyment is not a goal in tantra . But if orgasm occurs, it is neither good nor bad, and it will be welcomed with kindness, like all other manifestations of the body. In a sex therapy context, if there is a need to address a problem like anorgasmia , the approach could be different. »

“Due to the particular positions of the Kashmiri tantra massage, and its sensual nature, the masseur may have erections during the massage. Likewise, you may also feel the masseur's penis sometimes brushing against your body due to the positions. If this happens, you will feel that it is not threatening in any way and that the masseur is not trying to take advantage of the situation. Indeed, an experienced tantra masseur does not struggle to prevent an erection from occurring. If this happens, he experiences it without giving it any importance,” explains Bertrand Escaffre on his site.

In short, tantric and Kashmiri massages are one of the many ways to explore tantrism . While the genitals are not excluded, the emphasis is not on sexual arousal but on a holistic experience aimed at spiritual fulfillment and body/mind balance. These massages can, however, help to reconnect with our sexuality , our pleasure or our desire, or to develop the bonds that unite us to someone through this exchange marked by respect and love.

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