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Tantric massage, to love and accept yourself without complex

It is certainly one of the oldest spiritual practices in the world. 7000 years old, Tantrism has inherited over the years a sulphurous reputation, especially in our Western societies where it has become (almost) exclusively associated with sex. From spiritual to downright erotic, tantric massage nonetheless offers a therapeutic path that helps develop self-esteem.

, to overcome certain complexes or to repair past traumas.

Sacred sexuality

A futon, a few candles, lots of heat and a namaste. Lying on your stomach, you first feel the hot oil flowing delicately on the bare skin. Then it's the turn of the hands to make their entrance to come and feel, rub and caress each part of the body, without any being bypassed. Difficult to let go, but it is nevertheless the rule to follow. “Abandonment”, “feeling” and “letting go” will be the key words of the session, warns Didier De Buisseret, a Brussels psycho-body therapist specializing in tantric massage. “In tantra, nothing is taboo. Whether it is the private parts of the body or the repressed desires ”. Because much more than stimulating sexual energy, the experience invites you to reconnect with yourself and achieve perfect harmony between mind, body and heart. If as a couple, tantric massage can be used to explore a new form of sexuality, “at the individual level, it is a spiritual motivation, a process of pacification to re-tame one's body and one's body. sensuality ”.

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Having its origins - more than 7000 years ago - in Taoism, Hinduism and Buddhism, Tantrism, whatever the current, advocates the awakening of consciousness and access to plenitude. Working on the seven chakras, one of its principles is to circulate the sexual energy - the kundalini - throughout the body in order to experience perfect ecstasy. "By connecting to sexual energy, tantric massage allows the person being massaged to reclaim these often hidden areas with benevolence and to rehabilitate them, so as to find a healthy, natural and joyful relationship to the body and to sexuality. », Explains Didier De Buisseret.

Illustrated manuscript of Hindu tantrism. © Flickr: Feng Zhong

Sensual but not erotic

In his film The Secrets of Tantric Massage, the French specialist Christophe Dacier lays the foundations: “No intimate or sexual intercourse during the massage. Insofar as it slips into sexuality, all the interest in nourishing sensuality to stimulate energy is lost ”. Because it is precisely the prohibition to take action during the massage "which will create intensity". An intensity which, contrary to what one might think, does not seek to reach orgasm.

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Indeed, against the current of sexual performance habits, tantra does not focus on the search for erotic pleasure but is an exploration of the body and the senses. The experience can be overwhelming, especially by bringing back unexpected complexes or hidden memories of the past. While letting foreign hands wander over the body can be difficult to cope with, the practice ultimately allows one to reconnect with oneself. Like a meditation or relaxation session, this privileged moment awakens energies (other than sexual) and thus makes it possible to overcome certain blockages, complexes or other reservations.

Tantric massage has gradually integrated erotic salons to go from spiritual to downright sexual. © Flickr: Richard Schatzberger

Release self-esteem and sexual confidence

"By making it possible to overcome your shame and guilt, tantric massage invites you to reconnect with love and unconditional acceptance of yourself and your own body," explains Didier De Buisseret. By going beyond the stage of "massage for massage", tantra "invites the body to release its tensions, to surrender gently and benevolently and to deliver what it has to say. It can then serve as a powerful healing energy by facilitating the release of what was blocked in us ”.

There can be no fully fulfilling sexuality if one does not surrender completely.

Accept your body, explore all of its corners, let yourself be watched ... For many, the process is far from easy. As much as self-esteem, tantric massage helps to release sexual confidence and experience sensations hitherto unknown. "Some people come to see me because they have never reached orgasm or have always prevented themselves from satisfying their desires", says the therapist specializing in accompanying the couple.

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“This type of massage is particularly suitable for women who have had painful experiences in connection with their intimate and emotional life and who, as a measure of protection, had to one day cut themselves off from their body, their feelings or their energy. sexual, ”he says. After having experienced a sexual assault, a rape or a traumatic experience linked to intimacy, tantric massage can therefore serve as a means of resilience but also makes it possible to reveal the repressed aspects of one's sexuality. “I have received several women who, after a trauma such as incest or assault, no longer accepted being touched by a man. Thanks to the massage and after several sessions, they learned to trust again, to make peace with their sexual zone ”. Going beyond the obligations, judgment and dictatorship of the self-righteous, "tantric massage is also used to reveal, explore and accept one's homosexuality or other sexual orientations not assumed". If sexuality covers several levels of reality, tantrism teaches us again to live it in a sacred way, both at the individual level and that of the couple. And brings us back "in being", at a time when sex is above all "a question of doing".

Paris Match article

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